


May There Be Peace When You Are Done

by Insanefangirl



Category: Supernaturals - Fandom
Genre: Dean’s POV, Despair, M/M, Post episode 18, Season 15 Episode 18, season 15 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:39:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27426586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insanefangirl/pseuds/Insanefangirl
Summary: Okay this is my second piece about 15.18. This one is more acceptance and Dean’s POV about the following hour or so after the screen faded to black.So enjoy and feel the feelsMajor Spoilers!!
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Castiel
Comments: 1
Kudos: 54





	May There Be Peace When You Are Done

**Author's Note:**

> Little author rant at the beginning

Author Note: Okay I know people don’t read these but come on. Anyway, so the first fic for this episode I wrote was more of a fluffy ending because I was in shock and didn’t want to accept it. Now as I rewatch the soul crushing scene and read some fics I’ve accepted it more and I think maybe this is the ending Misha wanted. 

I also thought of a parallel. Jess had to die for this adventure to start, Cas had to die for it to end. I don’t know, just something I thought of. 

One last thing, I promise. So some people are calling destiel canon after the episode while others aren’t counting it. I can’t help but think of a post I saw were it said they didn’t want Dean and Cas to get together in a big way but in a small subtle way.

Okay, I lied. Last thing I promise for real this time. The more I think about, the more I appreciate the ending the writers gave us. I feel they did it in a way that was left open for interpretation. The shippers can take the scene as making Destiel cannon, while everyone else can just say it was platonic and they were really family. Any way that’s my take on it now that it has settled. 

——————Okay enjoy this really sad fic 

“Cas?” Dean whispers to the empty room. Empty, the word will never be the same again. “I don’t know if you can hear me w-where you are.”

Dean’s phone buzzes once again, this time from Jack. They are probably panicked right now. Dean just can’t bring himself to pick up the phone. If he does he’ll have to tell them what happened. 

He’s not ready for that. 

“I hope you can hear me.” Dean’s swallows another sob. “I’m sorry. I know I said that be-before, and you probably don’t want to hear my apologies but you’re gonna anyway. 

“I’m sorry you didn’t think I loved you liked that. I have been in love with you for years. I was just too much of a coward.”

Dean doesn’t even bother wiping the tears from his eyes. It doesn’t matter. They’ll be replaced again soon enough. 

“I didn’t think you could possibly love me back. You are an ancient angel and I am just me. That and the world was always ending and I just thought eventually we would have the time.”

He had been wrong. So, so wrong. 

“You t-talked about how I changed you. Cas, you changed me. You showed me what it was like to have faith. Maybe it wasn’t the faith from a book, but I had faith in you. 

“You showed me friendship. I never really had a best friend before, I had Sam but, it’s different, you know? You were my best friend and at one point I realized I loved you as something else, and that scared me. It scared me shitless and it made me want to push you away, but I couldn’t.” 

Dean takes a shaky breath but presses on. 

“You showed me I wasn’t broken, even if I didn’t believe you most of the time. You chose us-me. Time after time, you chose me. You gave up armies and your wings and your home. You stayed and you always came when I called when you could. You called me on my bullshit and pushed me to heal.”

Dean’s phone buzzes again. Sam and Jack will be back soon. He shuts it off and slides to the other side of the room. 

“I love you, of course, I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t say it back.”

The bunker door burst open and Dean can heal frantic calls of his and Cas’ names. 

Sam barrels into the supply room. His gun is drawn and his eyes are wild. Jack is on his heels. 

“Dean!” His little brother scrambles towards him. “What happened? Are you hurt?” 

Sam begins to search Dean for wounds. He wouldn’t find the one he had by patting him down. 

“Dean, where’s Cas?” Jack asks, voice full of fear. 

Tears began to fall again. Dean should be dehydrated by now. He isn’t sure how he still has tears to shed. 

“He’s gone.” Dean has to mouth it several times for the words to come out. Each time it hurts a little more. 

“Chu-“

“Not Chuck.” Dean viciously shook his head. “The Empty.”

“But the Empty can’t come to earth. How...?” Sam looks so lost. 

“The deal.” Jack says putting the pieces together, tears sliding down his face. 

“What?” Sam looks to Jack to explain. 

Dean blocks out the explanation he has heard. He knows the terms of the deal. He knows the price. 

“But I don’t understand. How could Cas have been happy if you were being hunted by Death?” Jack asks and Dean forces words to leave his throat. 

“H-he said h-happiness was something he could just be, and h-he said he l-lo- loved me.” Dean’s ugly crying now, big fat tears and snot. 

“Oh, Dean.” Sam shifts and holds him. That’s all he can do. No words can fix this. 

They stay like that for a long time. Mourning their friend. 

Finally Sam stands and says he’s going to put some food together. Dean doesn’t feel like eating but he nods numbly anyway. Jack leaves with Sam with one last pitiful look at Dean. 

Dean takes a deep breath and exhales shakily. There’s still a world to save. Chuck needs to die. Sam and Jack and everyone Chuck took needs him. 

Dean pulls himself to his feet, using the wall for support as his vision blurs. He waits for it to pass before leaving the supply room. 

Before he leaves, he sends one last prayer.

“Goodbye, Cas.”


End file.
